Editor’s Note:
Over the last nine weeks, our team has been juggling remote work with unprecedented challenges in their personal lives and their communities. In the time of the coronavirus pandemic, working parents have been doing double-duty with kids home as schools close and extracurricular opportunities are limited.
New parents, in particular, are presented with a unique work-life paradigm shift. Whether they are going on parental leave or returning back to regular work amidst the chaos, they are caring for new life in a time when things feel uncertain. Family comes first for us, and that’s why we offer 12 weeks of paid family leave as a cornerstone of our benefits package.
We know how hard our ‘Keeters are working to balance family and work right now as they reenter work under these unconventional circumstances. We asked some of our newest parents to tell us about their journey – the highs and the lows – and offer up whatever advice they can give to others who are feeling the strain of building a family in quarantine.
Check out the interview below to hear more from our ‘Keeters on this important topic!
Q1: What was it like to be on parental leave during this time?
Mathew Fox, Recruiter:
“Well, certainly not what our family was planning on. When we had our first child, there were many visitors to our house and we were out and about pretty shortly after bringing her home. This time around with the birth of our son, we had each set of grandparents over a couple of times in early March but have not had any visitors since and as a family really have not left the house other than a destination-less drive as a way to get out for a little bit. I guess the positive side of [this] would be everything was relaxed around the house and we weren’t entertaining at all. The downside, of course, is family and friends being unable to spend time with either of our children. However, the biggest positive of all is the amount of time my wife, kids, and myself have been able to spend together.”
Jordan Arnold, Sr. Director of Outreach:
“About 2.5 weeks before my leave ended is when Terakeet closed its doors and everyone made the transition to remote work. At first, I thought that just my first couple of weeks would be remote, but this is my 5th full week back from maternity leave. Not a ton changed from the way I was living life pre-COVID. Having a newborn during flu season kept us at home quite a bit, so we were already used to hunkering down.”
Daniel Heil, Sr. Account Manager:
“In a weird way, I actually think having a newborn helps keep your perspective and attention grounded. Every day you are on a regimented schedule of sorts. It provides that structure that all of us are missing with not being able to do what we normally would. Of course, it is very nerve-wracking and we worry about her and our loved ones. But you are so busy with her day-to-day that there isn’t as much time to think of the outside world.”
Q2: What has your transition back been like?
Mathew Fox, Recruiter:
“Thankfully, Terakeet policies made my transition back to work (remotely) pretty seamless. Several years ago with an employee lead initiative, Terakeet adopted a Flexible Work schedule and unlimited Work From Home opportunity to all employees. Of course, we were not planning on or expecting something like this to happen, however, because of Leadership’s willingness to explore and implement new policies and benefits frequently, we were prepared.”
Jordan Arnold, Sr. Director of Outreach:
“My transition back to work was eased by the fact that I [now] get to stay home. Going back to work after a 4-month leave is an emotionally big thing in its own right, let alone doing it while also being away from your baby for extended periods of time each day. Not having to worry about leaving her just yet has been nice. I’m thankful for every day that I get to be home with her.”
Daniel Heil, Sr. Account Manager:
“The transition has been hard. I’m not going to lie. When you are on paternity/maternity [leave] you get to be there for every step of the way. The first time she smiles or rolls over. The first time she grabs on to something or actually tracks something with her eyes. The toughest part of going back to work is knowing you will miss things. The silver lining of this [bizarre]time is that I at least get to be home still. It certainly makes staying focused on work much harder because she is just downstairs but it does make you feel more connected to the little moments.
I think a bigger transition than just [working from home] is before she came into the world it was easy to be more self-centered. My wife and I have been married since September ’18 but we’ve been together since 2010. We know each other so well but also we are very independent people. We both had a lot planned every week whether it be teaching dance for her or a myriad of adult sporting activities for me. The biggest shift is that your life becomes all about the baby. Shea laughs at the “plans” we may have for a given day. It sounds like a tough shift but in reality, it’s worth it 1000%. Seeing her grow up is the single best experience of my life so far. I’m telling you when you wake up at 4:30 A.M. bone-tired but you see her smiling in her bassinet you get enough energy to run a marathon … or just clean her diaper. “
Q3: Have you experienced any challenges?
Mathew Fox, Recruiter:
“I think the biggest challenge has been reworking my family’s schedule. Leading up to the birth of our son we had all our childcare needs on lock. Now with my wife and I both back to work and both kids home every day (21 month old, 10 week old), we’ve had to coordinate schedules and make sure work obligations and homelife obligations are both meeting expectations.
Workwise, my daughter is what you would label as “attached to dad,” so when I first returned to work I had to sneak around the house if I needed to get a drink or use the restroom so as not to draw attention to me being in the same room as her. This was quite a challenge in the beginning and bordered on impossible. As you may suspect, she didn’t understand why she couldn’t come into my office. We started saying “daddy is working now” which morphed into “daddy workin’” which seemed to help her understand. Now, for the most part, she has a handle on when I can and cannot “play tars” (toddler talk for play guitar) with her.”
Jordan Arnold, Sr. Director of Outreach:
“It’s been fairly smooth for my family. My husband is furloughed right now since he works at a sports complex where large groups typically gather. He’s been home with us for 7 weeks now and watches our daughter, Markie, while I work.”
Daniel Heil, Sr. Account Manager:
“The biggest challenge for a while was she got so used to always being with mom that she wouldn’t calm down for me. There is no worse feeling than your own baby wanting to be held by someone else (even if that someone is their incredible mother). Shea had a period [of] a couple of weeks where her witching hour and me getting done with work synced up perfectly. That meant an hour or so of a very fussy baby and a dad that wasn’t able to help much. We are past that now and she’s back to giving me big smiles but personally, that was the toughest period.
The other challenges are the norm — trying to get enough sleep/juggle work priorities with sharing baby responsibilities. I’ve learned that enough sleep is a misnomer — in fact, if you can convince yourself you slept enough that’s really all you need. (This statement has not been reviewed by any doctors or medical professionals).”
Q4: What are some of your worries and some of your hopes?
Mathew Fox, Recruiter:
“Thankfully, the collective family members on both sides have not been greatly affected. Everyone is healthy and has what they need to make it through week to week. My worry is making sure we all just hang on as we find solutions for the pandemic. …
My hopes are that people can find appreciation in what once was, find joy in their [days] as best they can, and take this time to learn new skills or pick up a new hobby. There will be an end to this and a time to build a new normal..”
Daniel Heil, Sr. Account Manager:
“I am a worrier — anyone who knows me personally knows the depth of my hand-wringing. At the beginning of the pandemic, I read every article I could find, went down deep rabbit holes on Reddit (not smart), and worked myself into a frenzy. The biggest worries I have are for my parents who are both 65+ with some health issues ( and of course for Shea. We have just focused on what we can control. What that has meant is A LOT of family time and EVEN MORE “Top Chef” (9 seasons worth). My biggest hopes are for the frontline workers and those who are sick or have family members that are sick. I hope we can find a treatment that helps and that we can all do our part to make this manageable for the hospitals. This will be something that is talked about for decades. I hope we can rise to the occasion and handle it as best we can. I also hope to meet Tom Colicchio at some point in the future.”
Q5: What’s one takeaway you have for new parents who may be finding themselves in a similar situation?
Mathew Fox, Recruiter:
“Parenting is already an adventure without the worry of a pandemic. We get so wrapped up in our kids (rightfully so), we forget to take care of ourselves and loved ones. We are still people who have interests, need an outlet, and/or time for ourselves. Therefore, I recommend working with your spouse or partner tirelessly to figure out a routine and schedule that works best for each of you. Get that situated first and adapt as needed. Strong communication is key and it will help make sure 1.) each of you remains sane and has time to do the things you are interested in (exercise, read, play guitar, nap, etc.) and 2.) Each child’s needs are met (feedings, play, activities, naps, mommy or daddy time, etc.) Kids need a lot and you do too, so set up some structure at home and a schedule that allocates time for the kids and for your needs and interests as well.”
Jordan Arnold, Sr. Director of Outreach:
“What we try to do is focus on the good. Despite everything else, my husband and I are getting unprecedented time with our baby girl, and that’s incredibly special.”
Daniel Heil, Sr. Account Manager:
“My takeaway is really just to control what you can control. This has been and continues to be such a surreal time. Every day when I get up I hope to just focus on what we can do. Shea really helps in this regard because she keeps us on our toes. It’s hard to stay focused on the [constant ] changes of the pandemic when you are cleaning spit-up off your beautiful daughter’s face. I know it sounds simple but that really is my biggest takeaway. Stay focused on the here and now — what matters the most. None of us know what is going to happen tomorrow let’s just try to enjoy today.
Hero image supplied by Daniel Heil, Sr. Account Manager.